Click!

Okay, I'll do this song thing. With the understanding that it can and most likely will be completely absurd due to my collection. I'm looking at 9632 songs by 2341 artists totalling 27 days 22 hours 16 minuts and taking up 30.8 GB.

Opening Credits: "The American Way" The Crystal Method
Fitting title... it's an odd rap song. Not too bad, just... different.

Waking Up: "One Way Out" Niels Van Gogh
Again, fitting title. It's an odd poppish song I guess.

Falling in Love: "Symmetry" Falling Up
I like this song. I do think the title works.

Fight scene: "Twenty-One" The Eagles
Definitely not a fight song.

Breaking up: "Yahweh" U2
Yep. Works nicely.

Getting back together: "Into My Heart" Rachel Fuller
Hmmm... SXSW 2005. Fitting title. I like the piano. And the lyrics work great.

Secret Love: "This Is Your Life" Switchfoot
It's not bad. I don't think it fits too well... but it kind of does.

Life's okay: "The First Noel" Mannheim Steamroller
Sure, I guess that works.

Mental breakdown: "Orange Blossom Special" Johnny Cash
This makes no sense! Unless it's just... crazily random. Insanity.

Driving Flashback: "Last Goodbye" AKO
Bad song. SXSW again. I'm deleting it. It might work here... but it's not a good song.

Partying: "Ticket To Ride" The Beatles
Eh, I don't know.

Happy dance: "Baby, Please Don't Go" ACDC
I don't know... maybe.

Regretting: "Overkill" Jimmy Buffett
I guess that works.

Long night alone: "Roll Away" Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band
Yep, I think that works.

Death Scene: "Fight For All The Wrong Reasons" Nickelback
Yes, good song for a death scene.

Credits: "Rise" Disturbed
Um... sure. Doesn't fit the rest, but hey. It works.

Wow... it's been a while.
These weeks have been fine. Long and tiring days.
So... yeah. School has gone fine. English has been off to a rough start but I think it's looking better.
I think I want to post this... so I will. This has been a hard year so far. It was hard to go back to school without Jessica... and then for her to go to school without me, far away. Just the idea of it really hurt. It's taken a while to get used to it and deal with it, but I think I'm doing better. I've struggled with the shell a lot, too. At least I have a better idea of what the shell is... and why it is... and what I can do about it. It's good to see Jessica... but it's hard to part with her again. Recently I realized... I don't have to be perfect. I just have to be myself.
So we had some football games. Jessica was at the last one. That was a nice surprise. It was so good to see her again... since I hadn't seen her since we left her at college. And then was marching band. I got to see her there, too. It was hot in the uniforms... but it could have been worse. We marched pretty well. What seems like a huge problem on the field... isn't a problem from the box. Sometimes it really stands out, but small problems blend in. It was great to be with Jessica, and it was cool to see some of the larger bands. No fireballs, though.
On the way home... I just cried. That's how I felt. So I did. I listened to music... mouthed the words... looked at the stars... and just let out the feelings. It felt good. Much better than holding them all inside.
I got to go to Galesburg to be with Jessica on Saturday. It was great. We took a walk into Galesburg some, watched Ever After, and at both the cafeteria and the Gizmo, and sat and talked. Jessica also looked at dA and some other things online.
So it's been basically day to day. I've been getting less afraid, more true to myself, more open. There have been fights, but I think I'm making progress.
I'll start with some quotes from math. Small class, and there are some funny moments.

Theorems drive me mad.
That's a short drive for you, Bane.

Yeah...

He doesn't understand that he's not Flash Gordon.

Dang... that's a hard one to get across.

Did you write him up?
He's a freshman. We have to.

She's kind of mean about the freshmen...

Who needs friends when you've got a calculator? Crap, where is mine?

That one was just hilarious... nobody seems to notice these things.

I have not sympathy for people who are stupid around power tools.

How about people that are just stupid?

I would guess that zero have ever said they've been killed by a stingray.

Yeah... that would probably be a good guess.

He'll come back and say he didn't mean to quit.

No, Nelly, he doesn't quit every time he leaves the room. For cryin' out loud...

I think I said no. I'm not sure why you're still talking to me.

He just talks without regard.

I just got bit by a spider. I hope it's nuclear so I can shoot webs.

He's worse than the students... and I don't trust him. He can't even reliably tell us which questions we have to answer for the chapters we read. He glosses over any questions that aren't in his "lecture."

Let me try to read announcements before my forehead swells.

It gets a little old after 5 or 10 minutes.

Oh, you've never done anything wrong, like eat Skittles the entire period.

Having to confiscate the candy...

I will kill your notebook. I will eat it.

Great. Mine wouldn't be very filling.

Reagan was a greaser.
Yeah, he was a gangser, yo.

Such enriching conversations about history.

Does anybody know his name?... They named a mountain after him.
Rocky.

That wasn't that funny in my opinion.

$400,000. Not exactly that much compared to an athlete.
Or a gangster.

Uh huh...

So what brings you here?
Lunch.
You came here for lunch?
I brought my own.

Yeah, why would anyone come to school for lunch if they had a choice. Unless they're like me and they don't care. I sort of noticed this week how bad school food is... but I really don't care.
There was a movie night on Friday. It went very well. I got to go pick up David first. After exploring his neighborhood a little I finally got there. Of course, as soon as I picked him up, I turned down a no-outlet, providing me a nice place to turn around.
We got there and watched some Sea Lab before switching to Guitar Hero. I had some alone time in between to think and imagine... I miss having Jessica there. Not the one that was there, obviously. Kelsey and Dylan went off by themselves and were joined by David and Jessica. So Shane and Meghann and Zack and I watched some Birdman. I periodically went out to check on the talking group. While Meghann and Jessica were playing Guitar Hero for the first time, we started yelling click at the appropriate times. It turned into quite a game of screaming click and then making odd sounds on the strums.
The volume didn't work right, so I figured out how to fix it and promptly had the stereo at concert levels. Of course, Shane and I went to do a song together, and it all turned off and said "Protect." That was great. So we had to turn it down and then we played. Jessica was bothering Shane, and in trying to get her away he pulled his guitar out of the PS2. A message popped up.

You are rocking out a little bit too hard.

Not exactly, but that was funny. There were some pool games played, too. Eventually, we all left around ten.

Well, now that I've voted, I'm a real man. Where's my Fruit Roll Up?!?

I stayed after school on Tuesday to help Erik paint the set for the middle school play. Even though I'm only in Art I, I was held to be the expert on the art room I know nothing about. There was one funny thing... we needed a paint stirrer, so I finally found one lying on the table. So I gave it to another helper to give to Erik. Then I came out there, and he was just playing around with it and hitting it on his hand while he was talking to me. I don't even remember what he was saying. And then, suddenly, he realized that there was wet paint on it.
In art class we're making special fall projects. If our leaves can be blue and purple, then why does the football have to be brown? Watercolors are fun, though.
Nothing much besides that. FFA was gone today. Multiple meanings were suggested by Shane for FFA, including F Florida and Fast Forward A. Dylan was also gone.
Kelsey's eyes were shiny...

Letting go gets a better grip...