Depth of Connection

I'm not sure how often I plan to update this as far as blogs go...
I guess not much has really gone on lately...
In general news, I'm learning to type on a Dvorak keyboard. It's fairly slow going, and I'm not sure how much it's worth it, but I think it could make a difference at least part of the time.
I'm still enjoying band at church. I like the music, and it's my only chance to play with other people, which is great practice and experience.
In band, we need to learn the last song of our marching show for Saturday. I'm faking it... hopefully that will change by then.
AP Calc is going pretty well this year. There are some things that leave me very confused, but overall I'm doing well. I think that forgetting to turn in two assignments so far this year has been a little motivation to try harder. I try to understand everything, because that's really what you have to do.
Spanish is the same. I think it's a bit easier. It's a bit confusing with all of the tenses, though.
AP Lit? I'm very confused. I think our teacher knows about English and analysis and writing, but I've concluded that all language teachers are crazy. He pretty much has (and will have) us read stories with tones of horror. I think we're learning, but he has a really odd method of teaching. I'm trying to have some respect for him, but he's such a narcissist. I can tell when he switches from "sound smart" to "sound cool." It's entertaining... I guess it's a good preparation for college in a few ways. I'm also doing very well in it. Except with the poetry we're doing on Monday...
Yearbook is an interesting class. It's been a bit boring so far, because I'm in the group of first year students. I already know how a camera works (how could I have something, especially that I love, that I wouldn't know how it works?), and I know how to do everything my camera does (same deal). I'm kind of glad that I get to switch to the advanced class, but at the same time I'll be a bit lost for a while. Taking pictures is fun, and any opportunity to do that is welcome. Unfortunately the image stabilization broke randomly, and it's been sent off to be fixed.
Senior PE is fun, too. As with everything else, I think the mentality of it all is a bit backwards, but I'm glad I'm in it.
I'm glad I have a study hall, too. Even though I try to be hard core, when I have a lot to do some days, I'm glad to have it.
Government is great. It's challenging, but not too much. We have fun and learn at the same time.
And that 9th hour is the same as study hall, except not as useful.

I think what I've been dealing with lately and keep coming back to is my feeling of isolation. I've said before that people's pictures, like other art, is expressive of who they are, even if they may not have total control over what they find. I noticed that I like pictures with a narrow depth of field where only the subject is in focus. Isolated and alone. I feel cut off from everyone, unable to connect with them or really get to know them. I like to be there and listen, but as far as interaction is concerned, not exist. Lately I've seen some hopeful progress away from this, but I hope for more.
Things can't be perfect. If I wait until I'm comfortable going public, it won't happen. I need to step out, and I will learn on the way. Time goes quickly, and I need to make the most of it. I'll make mistakes, but I have to deal with that. I'm too afraid of that.